What is it, that drives us wild?

For me. 

It's the kiss, It always is.

weather it be the greatest memory from your teens, rolling around on freshly cut summer grass and drifting into the blue skies of your ultimate first loves eyes. Or the intense heated passion of having your shirt ripped and clammy hands pushing you against a wall in the back of a small side street club in Berlin. always lust, pure chemical lust. 

 

Hey, Me.

I, Shamefully stopped writing, and I have no excuse.
I have just sought inspiration from a new acquaintance, Its rather nice actually talking to someone openly and being in the moment as they have absolutely no preconception of you. magic.

I have been really sad for so long. I have come to the conclusion, relationships drive me to insanity, soul crushing depression and codependency. I like to think I am smart enough to not allow this to happen, but from the past, I can see it has, countless times. well, probably can count how many times, never the less. I have stooped to my lowest.

 As a pretty independent thinker, one who trusts her heart to show her clarity, boy, oh boy, have I been blinded by so called momentary love.
I say momentary, because that is all it can ever be. That's what I currently believe love to be, momentary.I have loved so many people. Some have stuck to my heart, some have whispered away into the wind, and remembered as a brisk passing. all lessons of love.
for the hearts brought into my life, to collide with me, all have taught me about myself and others, ultimately for the better, always for the better, because if I have behaved in a certain way, I do think about my actions enough to never repeat. But like any human being, I have repeated my mistakes.

My newest lesson is cheating, why I have done it. In my mind (mind not heart) I have come to several conclusions to explain my blatant social betrayal - the betrayal of obeying the relationship. Even if you are attracted to people flowing in and out of your day to day. It is explained that one must respect the other person who momentarily loves them, enough to not kiss, sleep with, run off, break up etc

Its essentially what a relationship it, its an emotional contract to stop the other person changing their mind. THAT IS INSANITY.

we change every second, millisecond of our existence, and to believe that our chemistry isn't going to adapt to the evolving landscape and biology around is, is plain fairy tale.

Don't get me wrong, I have wanted for so long to believe in ever after and one person for all, but it isn't chemical reality. At the most basic natural level we change all the time.

livelifealive

I wish everything was just stars, You can't discriminate against a star.

It is beauty, everything is beautiful.

I read you can only see beauty when you have love.
I have always had love and I wish to continue,
I endeavour to push my love out to others, to spread, expel love.

Leave happiness in moments and smiles on faces, trace loops of laughter, bellowing within the mind.

Fun is life.
Life without fun is nothing.
You are not alive, we are.

I wish everyone had the passion for being alive instead of just working to be the best.

Just be still,
feel you.
You are alive, and that is all you need.

to know. to do.

naturalove

I am in love with Life.
The beauty surrounding me.
The magnetism of the earth.

we take it for granted,
we don't realise the fragile, yet vast balance.

natural law is forgotten,
kept safe in the hearts of the few
the tribes are being wiped out
so we must ignite the forest within our hearts
and listen to the sound.

it pours over my skin as I lay there on the grass.
gently warmth engulfs my outer.
I am surged by the air, my heart,
my lungs centralising me,
pushing out to my whole.